In Lab 210, February 7, 2013
THE UNANIMOUS DECLARATION OF ME, MYSELF, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY
I
During one’s life there are bound to be obstacles and
hardships, struggles and sacrifice. Sometimes these are minimal and can be
easily overcome with aid from others and one’s own strong willpower, however,
some things are just too insurmountable. It can be a fight each day solely to
wake up and know its rigorous effect on one’s life. If it ever comes to this
unbearable suffocation, all that’s left to do is act and eliminate the problem
at once.
I hold these truths to be self evident, that all sweets shall
be treated equal, control with candy to always be important and maintained, and
although chocolate can provide me happiness, indulgence, and satiation, in too
much enjoyment it can morph into an enemy. The following are all problems with
which I have encountered through my lingering susceptibility to the world of chocolate.
Chocolate has plundered my taste buds into only craving it
and only it.
Chocolate has reconstructed my stomach’s wants and needs.
Chocolate has robbed me of substantial amounts of money,
making my wallet empty and cold.
Chocolate has snatched up a lot of my free time by its
required amount of daily eating.
Chocolate has introduced multiple health risks to my life (and
I’d like to live to see at least 30 years of age).
Chocolate has been known to leave a
very unpleasant dry sensation in my mouth when eaten in large amounts.
Chocolate has boosted my energy to soaring amounts by
providing high doses of caffeine to my system and greatly increasing my amounts
of restless nights.
Chocolate has ingrained its soul into my brain and has made
it unacceptably hard to forget.
Chocolate has refused all efforts of my denial and continues
to dwell in the back of my every thought.
Chocolate has completely and utterly dominated my brain and
allows no other direction of ideas.
In each of the issues stated above I have worked to change
and lessen the hold that chocolate has had on me for some time. I’ve worked on
keeping chocolate in the back of my pantry and out of sight, buying more fruits
and vegetables, and immersing myself in other snacks, but each time I seek
resolution, it results in little to no betterment of the situation at hand.
At times I have gotten discouraged for I feel the tight grip
it holds, but in order to change my life’s course, drastic times call for
drastic measures and working to counteract the definition of Insanity- doing
the same thing over and over and expecting different results- new ways of thinking
are in order.
I, therefore, as the representative and director of my own
life, appealing to my own common welfare, DO, in the Name, and by Authority of
me, myself, and I, solemnly PUBLISH and DECLARE, that I am, and of Right, ought
to be free and independent from the wrath of chocolate from here unto forever.
All connection between us is and ought to be totally dissolved and that as a
FREE and INDEPENDENT individual have full power to deny the lethal power
chocolate obtains and to do all and any other things which an independent mind
may. And for the support of this Declaration, I mutually pledge to myself my
Life, my Discipline, and my Dedication.
ALLISON BLASER, President
Hello Allison!
ReplyDeleteI thought your topic was mighty fine! It was very interesting to read and you got a few laughs out of me as well. I loved the word choices that you used throughout your declaration of independence. Although all the points that you have made a very intelligent, I just dont see how you can live without it. Good luck!
Lauren
Hey Allison! Trust me, I feel your pain. My declaration was about cookies. Chocolate really is so devilishly good. I loved your two intro paragraphs! I liked how you listed your chocolate problems. I probably have a chocolate problem myself, so I can definitely relate. Chocolate and sweets can be so addictive. I like the idea of switching to healthier alternatives. Nice way of incorporating the real Declaration of Independence’s style into your blog. I wish you the best of luck! Nice word choice throughout, as well.
ReplyDeleteAllison, I can relate to your topic of Chocolate. It would be very difficult for me to live without chocolate. I try not to let it control me too much and I try not to eat it too often but I need it sometimes. I wish you the best of luck in going without chocolate. I definitely don't have the strength you have.
ReplyDelete